24.

So, in a few hours, I will be turning 24 - or well, actually I was born around noon, so I guess I have about half a day left. I suppose that means that I am no longer in my early twenties now, or that at the very least I'm getting perilously close to being in my mid-twenties. This is a scary thing to me, though I'm not sure why. I had no real issues turning 18 or 21, like some people do. All in all, I loved being 18, and being 21 was fun, too, even though, of course, in my country, it does not really come with any particular benefits. But it was a fun age and I liked turning it, and the same goes for 22 and 23.


I think twenty-four is a little strange because it's an age at which people get married and have children. They also have jobs and do adult things. Yes, rationally I know that doesn't make any sense. On the one hand, I know people who were already married or had children by the time they were my age, and at the same time I also know many people my age who are still in school, who are not having babies just yet, who are unmarried. And both are fine things and neither is particularly connected with any particular age. And I also know, rationally, that 24 is really not very old, which I realized as I was talking to a good friend of mine who is in her late sixties (and awesome). So I am, all in all, pretty sure my hair won't turn white overnight. Though as I pointed out to Cammie, it would make dying my hair significantly easier...

I just feel like the adult switch has yet to flip for me, and I am starting to wonder if it really does for anyone. Maybe when it comes down to it, none of us really feel like adults from one moment to the next - I think I'm just at that stage, call it a quarter-life-crisis or something else, where I am starting to realize that that magical moment isn't coming. Maybe all these people I've looked up to as Having Their Shit Together really haven't been all that different from me, after all. Maybe we all kind of wander from childhood into adolescence into college age into semi-adulthood blindly and without ever knowing what the right thing to do was before we do it.

To the world, I probably look fairly grown-up. I have finished a BA and an MA. I'm in grad school. I teach sixty undergraduates. I earn money for doing so. And even though it isn't a particularly great salary, I do at least pay the greater part of my rent and expenses. I have lived in two foreign countries, away from my family and childhood friends. And although I've done many things wrong, I hope I've done a couple of things right.

But the future is still as scary as it is exciting, and maybe that won't ever change.

A Crime-Solving Trio

So, I have a tendency to pick a couple characters from books or tv shows or movies and point out they would make an AWESOME CRIME-SOLVING DUO. I'm not sure why that is, except I read far too much Agatha Christie as an impressionable teenager, and I seem to have taken most of my life lessons from there. I still kind of want to be Miss Emily Trefusis. Anyone remember Emily Trefusis? I'm the only one? Anne Beddingfield, maybe? I wouldn't mind being her, either? No-one? The Sittaford Mystery and The Man in the Brown Suit, guys. And though these two people only appeared in one book each, I remember them fondly and they rank up there with my favourite fictional characters ever.

Anyway, this may be why I refer to people as making good crime-solving duos. Now, however, thanks to my friend Faith who has excellent taste in all things such as movie stars, clothes and food, I have realized I had a fine crime-solving trio on my hands all these years and never realized it!

BARBARA STANWYCK, for the actual solving of the crimes. And also to wield the guns. And smoke the cigarettes in a sufficiently BAMFy fashion. And because she could dress up like anyone and be virtually unrecognizable. And she was Phyllis Dietrichson, which should be adequate qualifications for any job in the world.

NORMA SHEARER, because she has the contacts and the inside scoops and all the power. Also because she could go to all the necessary fancy dinners in style. Does crime-solving involve going to fancy dinners? In 1930s-40s Hollywood, it totally does. Also, this is clearly in an alternate universe where Irving does not die. And just to be mean, because of her lazy eye, you never know where exactly she's looking...

INGRID BERGMAN, who is a worthy addition in a number of ways. Rationally speaking, she understands half a billion languages, looks fifteen and is scarily tall. In more awesome terms, she is there to eat ALL the things and ALL the ice cream sundaes. While solving crimes. Also, she was in an actual Agatha Christie movie, so that uh... counts for something, even if she just played the crazy Swedish nanny.

I feel this must become a silly and completely unnecessary fiction piece.

Running, or: how me and my 17-year old self no longer see eye to eye.

All through high school, I kicked and screamed whenever I had to do sports. And you know what - I still totally support that. Sports classes sucked. I can't throw or catch a ball to save my life. I suck at tennis and badminton because my eyes are too bad to be any good. I like watching gymnastics but my body wasn't exactly made for it. Ew. Bad memories. Horrible time. Ick.

I also loathed running, and I still kind of support that, too, considering it really hurt me - I was slimmer than I am now (I was really bizarrely skinny when I was 17-18) but I was completely out of shape and running for two minutes inevitably had me wheezing and aching.

Of course, last summer, my parents lured me into going running with them, a minute at a time first, then more and more, every few days. I didn't like that, either, until the moment came where I realized I could run about twenty minutes comfortably, and not feel awful. And it actually felt kind of amazing. And it was actually kind of fun. And now I can probably run about 3-4 km without feeling bad, and I'd love to build that up to about 10 km, possibly more.

And this is why me and my 17-year old self currently have issues.